I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
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