That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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