had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize