Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
