I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize