...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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