Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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