If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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