the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
