If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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