puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
