Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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