I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
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