SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
