I think scott just propositioned me for sex
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
