I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
