Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
