wrigley field is MILF paradise
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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