Everything about him screamed your future.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
