Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
