saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
