What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize