Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
