So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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