Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
