Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
