I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
time to smoke my breakfast
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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