I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
