I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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