you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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