i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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