we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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