the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Randomize
