He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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