my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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