Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
