So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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