please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
How does one acquire holy water?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize