whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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