You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
