You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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