God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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