hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
this is an emotional support booty call
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
