RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
