I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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