So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
