What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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