do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
