And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
