I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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