This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
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He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
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I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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