hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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