I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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