I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
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his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful