who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.