tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
