Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
