I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
